An account of my ongoing attempts to slay that evil dragon (or is it just a windmill?), boredom. Comments welcome.

Location: Cliffdell, Washington, United States

I've done a little bit of everything. I hate pop music and I don't watch TV. I can't dance, but I mix a mean drink.

Wednesday, December 15, 2004

A message to the proponents of teaching Intelligent Design as an alternative to Evolution

/Gratuitous Rant:

I don't care if your religion uses scientific terminology to preach its creed; it's still your religion, and shouldn't be taught in public schools as an equally probable alternative to evolution. The fact that the theory is controversial and encourages students to question traditon, which is admittedly a good thing, does not make up for the lack of substantial evidence. Teach it in Philosophy 101 in college, fine, whatever. College students are mature enough to objectively consider all kinds of strange concepts. But don't confuse high school students even more than they already are by introducing advanced concepts like parallel universes into high school biology classes. (i.e., "A wristwatch is too complex to be made by nature, there must have been a watchmaker; the watchmaker himself, being more complicated than the watch, must therefore also have been designed by a Maker. So who made the Maker?) So you are amazed and your mind boggles at the complexity of the universe, hmmm? That doesn't mean you should publish your amazement as evidence that "God and/or Aliens" must have been responible.

/End Rant

Monday, November 29, 2004

Man vs. Deer

Man always wins. Unfortunately, deer do not have the mental capacity to remember this for more than a few hours, so they will continue to unwittingly stumble into our paths. I haven't chased one with a bow or rifle in years because the quality of the meat doesn't justify the time and money required to bring one down. One need not be decked out in 'Don't Shoot Me Orange' to thin the herd out a bit, however. It is quite sufficient to simply drive down a rural highway at 4:00 in the morning while half asleep, and encounter oncoming headlights at exactly the wrong moment. THWACK! Truck: 1, Deer: 0, Man: -$459.97. Thanks for nothing, Charles Darwin.

Tuesday, November 23, 2004

On Dating a Dental Hygienist

Well, she's actually going to school for dental hygiene here in Yakima. Her name is Andrea, and she's adorable. The thing to remember when dating a dental hygienist is never to tell her she has a beautiful smile, or anything similar, even if looking directly at her when she's amused can be hazardous to your eyesight because of the glare from her blindingly perfect, white teeth. The reason for this is because instead of being flattered, she will immediately launch into a detailed description of exactly what's wrong with her teeth, i.e., "how can you say that, two of my molars are impacted and one of my bicuspids is recessed a millimeter!", whereupon you must refrain from smiling at all costs, lest she notice the lack of dental attention your (my) teeth have enjoyed for the last year and a half.
We had a good double date at Olive Garden last weekend, and when she comes back to town after Thanksgiving I'm going to borrow a two-seater snowmobile from dear old dad and take her for a ride. If she still likes me when we get back, then it could be the start of something better than the normal train wreck my relationships have been thus far. She's much shorter than I am, which might have been a problem if I hadn't completely lacked the coordination to dance with her, anyway. Observing the difference in height between my sister and her boyfriend, and also our mother and father, it's apparently a surmountable obstacle.

Precipitation, Please!

If it doesn't snow soon I will scream and tear my hair out and bring my semiautomatic carbine to my mundane workplace and run amok, pumping round after round into colleages and coworkers.

I apologize for the melodrama, and for paraphrasing "Fight Club," but its 22 degrees right now, dry as a bone, and my snowboards are leaning against the wall, whispering, "ride meee...", and I feel like Edgar Allen Poe in my little cabin-like apartment in the woods. Beautiful country, but it's dull around here while everyone waits for the snow. Of course, if it were snowing, I would be riding instead of writing, wouldn't I?

Monday, November 22, 2004

On Sibling Similarity

The ease of expressing oneself with broadband and an ergonomic keyboard would not have occurred to me if my slightly more educated sister hadn't started her blog first and invited me to read it. "Quantum Piracy" definitely has its moments, and can be found at
If you've ever wondered what librarians are like when they're not screaming, "SSSSSHHHHH!", give it a read. Beware, she's a redhead, and very opinionated.


Upon realizing that I no longer have an adequate outlet to express my creativity, I have decided to jump on the bandwagon and publish every little thought that I care to express, worthwhile or not. Because I can. (insert deity or non-anthropomorphic concept here) bless the Internet.